“A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.”
Rooms 103-107: Put A Little Estrogen In Your Life
I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar
Three weeks ago we visited Rooms 37-38: Put a Little Testosterone in Your Life. You can read it here if you haven’t checked it out.
And if you have read it, hopefully you’ve already kicked down the door, and are now starting to feel a little bit of that “metaphorical hair on your chest.”
Of course, now comes the time to put a little estrogen into our lives.
If we are to expand our awareness, we have to embrace both the female and male sides of our nature, and this is true regardless of our gender.
For all you guys out there, that means it’s time to man up and put a little estrogen in your lives. And for you women, I hope you realize the simple truth that you can never have too much of a good thing.
Now, if you know me by now, you probably won’t be surprised to hear that I was excited about this room. Enough with tool belts, monster trucks and cigars. This was finally the week I would wrap my body in rosemary scented towels, spread an avocado mask across my face, and throw a couple of cucumbers on the eyes.
Bring on Adele, I was home again.
In fact, if there was a cliché about what women like to do—I was going to embrace it. I was going to have my nails done with my daughter, go shoe shopping with my wife, try Pilates, get my brows plucked and, who knows, maybe even enjoy a tub of ice cream and a good cry with The Notebook.
What can I say? I like aloe vera more than motor oil. Of course, I could never be a woman. I may have the soft skin, but none of the inner toughness needed for the job. Just the same, I was going to enjoy my week of estrogen.
Or so I thought.
The universe had other plans. In fact, every time I tried to let out my inner woman, something got in the way. The nail salon closed. The esthetician got sick. My wife was busy.
And since there are no accidents, it left me to wonder how I was going to put estrogen into my life? What else do women like to do?
Unfortunately, it wasn’t as easy a question to answer for women as it was for men. And that’s when the truth hit me.
We can’t go after estrogen in the same way we went after testosterone. Men and women are too different. And while I could go through all the obvious reasons, it really comes down to this:
Men define themselves by what they do,
while women define themselves by who they are.
Admittedly, this is an unscientific opinion, but if you listen hard enough, I think you’ll hear proof in the conversations we have.
Ask a man about his life and he’ll mostly talk about what he does for a living and all the things he likes to do. Ask a woman the same question and she may talk about the same things, but in context of who she is as a person. She talks about what she does so that others can better understand what she feels and believes. It’s her whole fully integrated self that matters.
This is the energy we’re after this week.
Not ice cream and facials, but the real stuff.
The real estrogen.
Rooms 103-107: Put A Little Estrogen In Your Life
I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar
Here are four ways we can start to bring more estrogen into our life, regardless of our gender.
Estrogen Tip 1: Become a nurturer.
Take one look at my to-do list and you’ll see that it virtually has nothing to do with anyone but myself. It’s all about me. Draw a circle and put me in the middle. That’s my life.
Now, look at my wife’s to-do list, and you’ll see that it’s twice as long, and is about everyone else but her. Like most women, she innately puts other’s needs before her own and, unlike me, she does it without fanfare or a press release.
And it’s not that men are selfish. They are far from that. I think it’s more that we don’t always see our role as being a nurturer, someone who consciously “cares for and encourages the growth of another.”
This week, let’s change that. Let’s ask ourselves how much do we really nurture those around us? How often do we put someone else’s needs in front of our own? And just what does our to-do list look like, anyway?
If we’re coming up short, let’s find our own individual ways to put someone else’s needs first. That’s not a man’s job or a woman’s job.
It’s everyone’s job.
Estrogen Tip 2: A little finesse goes a long way.
Call it bold and powerful or blunt and in your face, but it’s no secret that male energy can often be aggressive. When a man wants something, he has the capacity to go through a wall to get it. And that’s a good thing, because it gets stuff done.
However, we should realize there are other ways to do the same thing.
Women may be just as bold and strong, but they also have the gift of subtlety behind them. They don’t need a hammer to get what they want. Not when they can use tact, diplomacy, and sensitivity.
Women will stare at the wall, then find a way to get around it, without destroying the plaster.
It’s called finesse, an estrogen by-product that is as powerful as anything our testosterone body can manufacture. And in today’s hot-tempered world, we need it more than ever.
So, the next time we have the temptation to overpower a situation at home or work, let’s stop, shift our attention, then call upon our female energy to do the job for us.
Instead of force, let’s use patience.
Instead of power, let’s use use love, wisdom and discretion.
In other words, let’s be creative.
Estrogen Tip 3: Share Yourself.
It has been said that the average woman speaks about 7000 words a day, while a man speaks about 2000.
And it’s not that men aren’t interesting and have nothing to say, or that women are more interesting and have a lot to say.
It’s that woman are willing to show they’re more interesting.
They’re willing to share.
Oftentimes, men are just too lazy, too busy, or too unwilling to reveal themselves, unless there is immediate value to the conversation. It’s news, weather and sports. And while practical and efficient, it does nothing to add to the richness of life.
Women, on the other hand, use conversation as a means to connect and share what’s important in their lives. They want to laugh and enjoy themselves. It’s gossip, opinion and commentary, but also spice, flavor and creative expression.
I don’t know about you, but I think we can use more of that in our lives. And the only way to get there is to pump in the estrogen.
It’s time to stop being so lazy and impatient with our conversations.
It’s time to slow down and start talking. Really talking. Not to inform or interrogate, but to connect. To get to know one another.
To enjoy one another.
Estrogen Tip 4: Deal with it.
Men love to bury problems. And the bigger the problem, the deeper we’ll dig. And I’m not talking work problems or family problems.
I’m talking “me” problems.
And not just the deep-seeded childhood stuff, but all those everyday emotions that creep into our lives—the annoyances, insecurities, doubts and fears.
When it comes to these “issues,” nobody can sweep it under the rug faster than a man. “It’s just who I am,” we say.
News flash: It is who we are, BUT not who we have to be.
If we want to become awake, we need to deal with all the issues in our life. And not superficially, like putting a coat of paint on a car that needs a new engine, but in an honest and meaningful way.
And to do that, we need more estrogen.
It’s not surprising that women are much more likely to deal with their issues than men, which is why they’re four times more likely to go to therapy.
And it’s not like we have to go to therapy to be healed. We just have to be willing to look at all the parts of ourselves. Even the uncomfortable parts.
If we let it, this will become the compass that guides us towards the lessons we need to learn.
It’s called being healthy and awake. And it’s exactly what we need to take the next step to living a fully conscious life.
Estrogen Tip 5: Admit ignorance.
Men have big egos. I’m a man so I can say that. But, it’s true. We think we know a lot of stuff. And we tend to want to use that stuff to come riding in on our white horse. Saving the day. Fixing things.
That’s what we do.
Running toilets or bad relationships, we’ll fix it. Kids being bullied at school? DVD player isn’t working? We’ll take care of it. National debt? We want a crack at it.
And while it’s a good quality to believe you can solve any problem, it’s time to fess up and admit the truth. We don’t have all the answers. We can’t fix everything.
And, yes, if we admit to that, it also means we will need to embrace the three hardest words in the Man-Dictionary: “I need help.”
Male energy hates to admit this. It’s equivalent to throwing in the towel and quitting. But, it’s true. We do need help, and that means more estrogen.
First of all, women aren’t afraid to admit they don’t know everything. And, more importantly, they don’t see asking for help as a sign of weakness.
In fact, they know that putting aside their ego and admitting to their vulnerabilities and limitations is a sign of strength and awareness.
We need that energy in our lives. It’s not one room. It’s a hundred rooms.
I realize that for a lot of us, this doesn’t come easy. It takes practice. But, we can do it. All it takes are those three simple words: “I need help.”
Wash it down with some scotch if it makes you feel better.
Of course, embracing our feminine side is not one thing, or even many things. It’s a total approach to life.
It’s a way of living in which we hold up our entire lives and everything we do as an honest expression of who we are: a wise, nurturing, and creative soul who is here on earth to love and serve.
That’s the power of estrogen.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I promised myself a Mint Julep Facial and I’m going to have one if it’s the last thing I do.
❂ ❂ ❂
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